08.22.08
Posted in Bus-Blog at 9:41 am by admin
So, it’s been awhile since I took the Party Bus (aka: 7:30AM Bus)… I grabbed a seat towards the middle and started reading my book, when suddenly I realized that there was shouting going on towards the back. Apparently a cracked out lady was sprawled across 4 seats (sleeping) and would curse out anyone who asked her to move so that others could sit around her.. Then Bus Driver Gary had to come back.. Now, bus driver Gary is a friendly 40-something year old dude, with a scruffy beard, who’s shirt isn’t long or wide enough to cover his huge beer belly.. so when he has to get up out of his seat, it’s really not a pretty sight..
Anyway, BD-Gary comes to the back of the bus and tells crackhead that she needed to sit up..
Crackhead (opens her eyes, then shouts): “You woke me up!” .. [followed by cursing]… “No, I ain’t movin! I can stay here if I want!”… [followed by more cursing]..
BD-Gary tried to be firm but respectful.. but crackhead kept cursing at him.. so finally he walked away telling her that he’d get someone to get her off the bus.. The male passengers sitting around her grew impatient and started shouting at crackhead in language that she would understand: “Get your *@SS* off the bus!!”
Crackhead finally grabbed her things and stormed towards the front of the bus to shout at BD-Gary: ” I can take the 102 bus, I can take the 40..” [BTW, these bus numbers don't exist].. “I don’t need to ride your stupid bus to get me where I gotta go! And as soon as I leave, I’m reporting your @ss to your supervisor!! You’ll hear about this!”
Crackhead gets off the bus.. passengers clap.. suddenly someone shouts.. “SHUT THE DOOR!! She’s coming back!”…too late.. Crackhead reappeared and then spits at BD-Gary!! [turns out that she wasn't able to get any spit to come out though]
Anyway, suddenly, Chatty, Big Mama and the P- Bus crew went crazy.. the girls were all: “Oh NO she didn’t!!.. Get off the bus!!! … Shut the door! … GARY, are you OK?!! …She did NOT just spit on you! .. Are you OK Gary?”
Man, by the way the ladies were acting, I would have thought the crackhead came at him with a knife or something.. As soon as BD-Gary shut the door.. everyone was shouting… “DRIVE AWAY!!!”.. Then the P-Bus crew of ladies continued to attend to BD-Gary to make sure that he was OK and would survive his near-fatal spit wound..
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07.09.08
Posted in Bus-Blog at 8:50 am by admin
I started riding the bus to work back in May, since it’s close to my house and has an express route to work. At first, life was good.. but as the quarter came to an end, it started getting very crowded. Now it’s summer and for some odd reason, the bus is suffocation-sardine-like, crazy packed, by 6:30AM! So, I’ve been experimenting with different times and have concluded that from 6:30AM-7:45AM, I’ll be standing on the bus, squeezed between potentially smelly passengers. On the bright side, I notice that the 7:30AM bus contains the most lively people, so lately I’ve been catching it, simply for the entertainment.
This is the only bus where half of the passengers actually know each other. The “Party Bus” is like High School, except with 40-50 year olds. Oh, and to be one of the ‘cool kids’, you have to be standing near the bus-driver, so that he’s included in the party while he drives..
Top Cool Kids:
1. Chatty (super social and very loud, single mom with kids, who’s “the best at her job”, but doesn’t like it because she gets paid minimum wage)… Not sure what Chatty does for a living, but anyway, last week she passed around mini-donuts to everyone on the bus.. how sweet. 
2. Rex (aka: “Rex-ster”).. He’s like the ultra cool, 40yr old version of George Foreman. Bald, super happy all the time, dresses in a suit, and I swear that half of the 40yr old women want to date him.. The gang LOVES Rexster..
3. Big Mama.. She’s one large lady and so the gang doesn’t make her stand.. she just sits near the bus driver. 
4. The Jock.. Now, I’m sure this guy was a hotty back in his day. What’s funny though is that he still thinks he’s a hotty and tends to be the one who looks around to see who might be looking at him.. He even tries to grip onto the bus pole in a way that will give everyone a sneak peak to the Gun Show.. puh-leeze!
The other members of the Party Bus Gang are not as interesting to me yet, so I won’t bore you with a description.. It’s really cute though, because even before they get on the bus, they’re standing in their circle, socializing, jumping around like little goof-balls.. I’m now convinced that the Party Bus is the Fountain of Youth!!
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06.30.08
Posted in My Big Fat Barnyard Wedding 2008 at 7:56 pm by admin
I fear that I may have left an unfavorable image of Amarillo-ans in my previous posts.. However, while I was there, I really did have some very special moments with the locals that left me with lasting memories that I hope I will never forget.. Below are two of those wonderful moments.
Special moment #1: “WALMART”
So, on Thurs (6/19), we went to Walmart and arrived to see people scurrying out of the store, rushing to their vehicles. A customer stopped us and said that a tornado was coming and we were told us to go home to our basements… uh, what basement!?! So, Walmart workers said we could go to the middle of the store with everyone else who was stuck there. Then the sirens went off in the streets and rather than going to the middle of the store, I found myself drawn to the open front door. Word was coming in that a tornado had touched down in part of the city. As I was standing there watching the clouds swirl, I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to find an old lady next to me…
*Ol’ Lady [never looking at me, but gazing at the clouds]: “hmm.. ya see those white clouds movin’ to the right?”
-Me [wondering why she's touching me]: “Uh.. yeah”
*Ol’ Lady [still gazing out]: “Well, those are wind clouds.. [pause] ... and then ya see those really dark clouds there moving ta the left?..”
-Me [starting to feel interest in the conversation]: “Yeah”
*Ol’ Lady [pausing ~5 secs.. then in a calm voice, as if completely dejected]: “yeah… that’s not good.”
Then she simply turned around and wheeled her cart back into Walmart.. I’d have to say that when strange old lady’s are touching your shoulder, telling you bad news in a calm voice, you can’t help but feel some fear… Walmart had some wading pools outside on display and they suddenly shot past the store across the parking lot, so the poor workers had to run them down.. The sirens were still blaring and the wind was picking up, so we decided it was time to go inside.. We congregated at the center of the store and waited until the sirens stopped and an announcement was made that it was safe again to shop.. woohoo!
Special Moment #2: “TACO SALAD”
I learn something interesting while ordering food..
-Me: “I see that you have Taco Salad. Can you tell me what is in that?”
*Lady: “Chili, cheese, lettuce, tomato”
-Me: “Oh, is there any meat in it?”
*Lady [annoyed]: “I say’d there was Chili, din’t I?!”
-Me [confused and still wondering if she answered my question]: “So-ooh… are you saying there’s.. ‘meat’.. in the chili?”
*Lady [thinking 'stupid-asian']: “YES!”
-Me [thinking 'stupid-asian']: “Oh! Well, in that case, I’ll have the taco salad”
SO, basically what I learned is that EVERY meal in Texas comes with meat! Texans don’t believe in meat-less or gravy-less meals… and they think you’re stupid if you question it.
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06.28.08
Posted in My Big Fat Barnyard Wedding 2008 at 9:46 pm by admin
Chapter 1: “The Barn”
The wedding was in a rustic metal barn on “Cementary Rd”.. the irony, huh? There was no ventilation, but at least D2 (her Dan) was able to finish the wiring just in time, so we did have light! Remember how I said that Amarillo smelled like cow-dung, well let’s just say that we may have stumbled upon the source of some of the odor. The farm didn’t have any pigs, but there were cute smelly goats and cows and they must have been on a high fiber diet, because there was no shortage of poop-patties. And recall how I mentioned that some of the Amarillo-ans stared like they’d never seen an Asian before, well, apparently the livestock hadn’t either!!
Chapter 2: “Texas Sweat Shop”
So, my sister put the entire family to work the moment we arrived. Wed (6/18), required helping assemble furniture she bought, as well as going grocery shopping for Thursday’s Engagement party.
Thurs (6/19), we removed all clutter from the house to get ready for the party that evening. We also had to lift and transport over 100 plyboard floor panels, fifty 2×4’s, ~13 decorative pillars, wedding supplies, etc to the farm.
On Fri (6/20), we arrived at the farm and my sister and one of her bridesmaids told us how to decorate the barn. Then they *both* ditched us to get a manicure/pedicure and shop for last minute wedding supplies, while the rest of us were stuck working in the sweat shop, covered in dust, drenched in sweat, with the smelly goats and cows cheering us on. We were so physically exhausted by the end of the day, but still had the bridal shower that evening. The bridal shower of course was followed by the bachelorette party, so we fell asleep around 4AM-ish the next morning (aka: the wedding day).
Chapter 3: “The Longest Wedding Day (Phase I)”
Sat(6/21) began with a rehearsal brunch ~11AM, then tables were transported to the farm. Then we ran through the rehearsal, followed by more work (ie. setting up chairs & tables in the barn, cleaning everything off, etc.). And then some of us decided that we were finished, because we worked so hard, only to have one person (not the bride) repeatedly change everything we did..
..So after that.. we promoted ourselves to DIVA status and and decided to bounce.. cause that’s how we roll!
Chapter 4: “Dukes of Hazzard Mustang-style”
We left the farm and headed back to the hotel to get ready, but on the way there, my posse (Dan/Manda/Becca) thought it would be cool to drive our rental car (2008 Mustang) as fast as possible up the slope to jump over the railroad tracks at the top. SO, first D1 proceeded to speed down a dirt road as a little warm up ride.. Then he U-turned and as we approached the hill, he floored it, the Mustang caught some air, but landed so hard on the other side, that the girls (below) knocked their heads on the ceiling! All I could picture was having to explain to my older brother how his girls ended up brain damaged from our car ride!
So, of course, since we knew that we wouldn’t be eating dinner until late that evening, we decided to have a healthy meal for lunch to hold us over.. hence our emergency stop at Braum’s Ice Cream and Dairy Store.
Chapter 5: “The Longest Wedding Day (Phase 2)”
We eventually arrived at the hotel with just enough time to get ready and then it was back to the farm for the ceremony. All of the guests loaded into the warm, humid barn, the music started, and suddenly we discovered that one of my sister’s boys was missing. Turned out that his brother forgot to pick him up… eek! So, all the guests exited the barn (to cool off) and waited another 20-30 mins until he arrived… then the show went on.
On a side note: As many of you know, we refer to my sister as the family “Drama Queen”, so I couldn’t help but smile when I first saw her dressed in her ivory gown and TIARA.. she looked like all she was missing was her throne.
Ok, I digress… All kidding aside, my sister really did look BEAUTIFUL!! It’s true when people say that brides always look gorgous and seem to just glow on their special day! My sister was no different! She looked grrreat!! Sadly, D1 had the camera at this point, so the photos I have really don’t do her justice..
Chapter 6: “Hooray Beer!”
As for the groom, D2 apparently had a few brewskies before the wedding to help him get over his anxiety. Can you blame the man? After all, he’s going to be stuck with my sister for the rest of his life!! teeeheehe.. Well, his buzz-high was pretty evident by the end of the ceremony.. Every time he’d hug us I was slightly worried that he might inadvertently strangle us with love. D2 was definitely in his happy place by the time the reception was in full force.
Chapter 7: “Unforgettable”
One unexpected highlight of the reception was when Jordan (family friend) sang Nat King Cole’s “Unforgettable”. It was so BEAUTIFUL and his voice was amazing!! It’s funny, because the other songs actually did end up ‘forgetable’ in comparison.
Chapter 8: “What About the Porta Potties??”
Well, I guess they worked out well.. I personally wouldn’t know since I didn’t use them. I had checked them out on Sat morning and discovered that the guys at the bachelor party all used them the night before.
Ha! Ok actually, the potty wasn’t that bad, but never the less Sailen and I assessed the situation and we both agreed that we wouldn’t step foot in there again.
So how did I pull it off, you may ask? Well, I made sure to use the bathroom right before the wedding and then I barely drank anything just so that I wouldn’t have to pee.. viola! So I managed to survive the night porta-potty free.. pheew! I wish I could say that I was also mosquito-bite free, but I was NOT so lucky there..
Chapter 9: “Farewell and Home Sweet Home”
The day after the wedding, we met for breakfast…
Then Dan and I left for the airport to fly home. All in all, it turned out to be a fun trip full of wonderful, entertaining memories…
We had plenty of laughs and good times, and though I loved spending time with the family, it also felt so good to return home to San Diego! I had missed being surrounded by perfect 74 degree weather, smelling fresh air, eating sushi, and seeing ethnic diversity all around. Ah, I LOVE SD!!
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06.27.08
Posted in My Big Fat Barnyard Wedding 2008 at 11:33 pm by admin
I’m back from Amarillo and will be posting an update of all the events as I finish typing them up.. So let’s begin with the basics..
“So, What’s Amarillo Like?”
Amarillo is a very flat, dirt-filled country, with cattle, horses, farms, and a manure ‘fragrance’ that seems inescapable. And instead of a Starbucks on every corner, it’s a Walmart. Fried food appears to be the staple meal according to natives and gravy is the universal sauce that accompanies EVERYTHING! Smoke-free public areas don’t exist in their world, so you inhale so much second hand smoke that you end up with emphysema by the end of your visit. Since Asians appear to be the elusive creatures that exist only in fairy tales and horror stories, there were times when people stared like they were convinced I’d come at them like a spider-monkey. One guy who had been sitting with his back to us when we walked into the diner, made the effort to turn side ways, just so he could sit and stare over the back of his seat at my brother and I.. Talk about awkward. Honestly though, we found ONE Asian during our entire visit and he was so scrawny and geeky that it’s no wonder Amarillo-ans think Asians are freak-shows.. looks who representing us for Pete’s sake!!!
“Mama Dan”
Two wonderful surprises in Amarillo:
1. Braums ICECREAM shop (dee-licious)
2. Mama Dan (D2’s mother), the cutest southern lady who bakes the most awesome homemade Betty Crocker-like breads/desserts in the world. Her unique personality is evident the moment you step foot in her home. EVERY piece of furniture is covered with multiple knick knack/figurines. She even decorates the floor, window sills, and walls. The home has a very old fashion, borderline Claustrophobic feel, like it was designed to display antiques/figurines/crafts, all evenly spaced, and intentionally placed in their specific spots.. Mama Dan and her partner in crime (Aunt Peggy), are two of the most genuinely warm ladies in Amarillo. They’re hilarious to be around and they instantly make you like family. I tell you, every family needs a Mama Dan and Aunt Peggy!!
Aunt Peggy
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06.25.08
Posted in My Big Fat Barnyard Wedding 2008 at 9:26 pm by admin
So, my father said that when it comes to making a wedding registry, most people walk into a store and select specific items that they need.. My sister on the other hand, walked into each store and said “YES!”
The result was a novel entitled “The Wedding Registry”, composed of 7 chapters and weighing 250 lbs:
Chapter 1 - “The Warm Up” - aka: Target (2 pages)
Chapter 2 - “I’m Just Gettin’ Started” - aka: JC Penneys (5 pages)
Chapter 3 - “That’s Nothin’!” - aka: Bed Bath & Beyond (6 pages)
Chapter 4 - “Are We Havin’ Fun Yet?” - aka: Pampered Chef (10 pages)
Chapter 5 - “Almost Done Now” - aka: Bloomingdales (4 pages)
Chapter 6 - “I Can’t Believe You Fell For My Chapter 5 Title!” - aka: Crate and Barrel (21 pages)
Chapter 7 - “Let’s Have Another Wedding Next Week” - aka: Pottery Barn (2 pages)
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05.18.08
Posted in The Family at 8:52 pm by admin
My parents were recently interested in viewing my Thanksgiving recap of our 2007 family event. Therefore, I’ve now provided the official story (again) below. I apologize to anyone who is reading this twice..
THANKSGIVING WITH THE FAMILY…
Chapter 1: “Arrival at the refugee camp”
Dan and I arrived at my parent’s home in Arizona at 11PM, to find 6 air mattresses in the garage and luggage everywhere and the list of refugees were as follows:
Dan (D1): my Dan
Dan (D2): my sister’s boyfriend who she brought home for the first time to meet the family
Carol: my sister (from Texas)
Amanda and Rebecca: my brother’s girls (from the East Coast)
Me
It was cold, but my dad said that D2 already turned on the heaters, so it would warm up as the night went on. Would have been nice if he also warned us that D2 snores like a 747 taking off. It was horrible, and when I tried to cover my ears, I could hear the sound vibrating under our air mattress. So, I woke up all throughout the night.. to make matters worse, my mother gave me a blanket that didn’t even cover my toes when I pulled it up to my shoulders. I mean dang, I know I’m short but this was ridiculous! Then it turned out that our air mattress had a leak, so I woke up at 4AM, FREEZING my ass off, in a deflated bed with my washcloth sized blanket, only to discover later that my father was wrong and D2 had actually FORGOTTEN to turn ON the heaters. I finally ended up ditching D1 and went inside the house to find a place to sleep.. Fortunately, there was a warm, snore-free zone between my nephews, so I wedged myself in and I insistently fell asleep… you can imagine how awkward they felt waking up the next morning snuggled along side their aunt..
Chapter 2: “Where’s the Turkey?”
So, my parents had 17 people at their house for Thanksgiving dinner (4 women, 3 men, 4 growing boys, 2 growing girls, 2 Dan’s, 2 family friends, and a partridge in a pear tree). My mother bought a 25lb turkey, only to discover that it was actually 11lbs.. and our family friends (who were going to bring over ham), had forgotten to thaw their ham far enough in advance, so even after they cooked it, it was frozen in the middle, so they microwaved as much as possible and brought it over.. SO, we made lots of extra sides instead and cherished the sliver of turkey and ham that we got… I bet this is how the pilgrims felt.
Chapter 3: “Black Friday - Shop till you drop day”
ALL of the girls woke up at 4:30AM to go shopping. We ended up at 2 staples, kohls, target, sports authority, and some other side shops. We spent hours in lines, and returned home completely exhausted, only to discover that D1 bought all the same items from staples online for the same early bird price WITH FREE SHIPPING.. jerk!!
Chapter 4: “It Not child Abuse if You Don’t Leave a Mark”
My sister’s kid is a cutie, but he’s the most hyperactive redheaded child you’ll ever met.. He talks and moves incredibly fast, doesn’t listen and moves from one thought to another in mid sentence. Two times his older bro and I took him on a bike ride, just to ditch him.. but he still managed to find his way home.. BOTH TIMES! Man, kids are amazing like that, I was truly impressed! It made me wonder if it would work with car rides as well…
Well, that’s the end of Volume 1. All in all, it was a great visit. We had so much fun and I loved hanging out with the kids… I especially loved knowing that I would be leaving AZ with no kids as well…
Upcoming stories…
Volume 2: Christmas with the Family.. the adventure continues…
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Posted in My Big Fat Barnyard Wedding 2008 at 8:20 pm by admin
As you may know, my sister is really busy right preparing for her barnyard wedding extrava-ganza!
Latest update.. we still have no electricity, no budget, no invitations sent to the 300 guests, and the wedding is fifty some odd days away.
Also, it appears that my sis has not completely given up hope on her romantic candle-lit barnyard idea, so if you’re lucky, you may see a familiar little Asian on the Nightly News, charging out of a large burning barn, covered in soot and screaming, while riding on the back of a hog.
As a side chuckle, I thought it was cute that my sis hasn’t looked into pricing wedding cakes, flowers, or food.. but she HAS looked into the cost of a KEG for the reception!
Oh, onto even happier news, there will be porta-potties.. yaay! I mean puh-leeze.. you can’t have a sophisticated wedding and reception without porta-potties.. am I right or am I right!! Woohoo.. I have a feeling that by midnight, when the locals are buzzed and ready for cow-tipping, someone’s going to take out those porta-potties!
So, I started taking my daddio’s -nothing can phase me- attitude with regards to the wedding, but then my sis had to mention that mosquitoes and flies may be an issue, since everything is in an open barn and all.. oh, that’s just grrrrreat! After that, I started to feel anxiety.. I mean seriously, I’m a total walking all-you-can-eat buffet when it comes to mosquitoes!!! They absolutely love me, so now on top of having to worry about MadCow and SARs, I’m convinced that I’ll be leaving TX with West Nile as well! hmmmm… Amarillo is starting to sound like a third world country, huh?!
…. more infectious diseases to come.. stay tuned for future updates..
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Aunt Peggy
