06.11.09
Posted in Uncategorized at 11:56 am by admin
One day while reading my book on the bus, I was interrupted by a heated debate taking place between this old Veteran and a random old lady sitting across the aisle from him… and now I’m going to torture with the details of their conversation…
Vet: Yeah, I was in Hawaii back in the day.
Lady (sounding interested): Oh Hawaii huh? What island?
Vet: The island of Hawaii… the big island.
Lady: Honolulu?? [btw, Honolulu isn't an island, but whatever...]
Vet: No, Hawaii.. the main island, you know with the big volcano.
[Now, here's the thing... why is it that when we don’t get the answer we seek, that we over compensate by speaking louder (even when it's evident that they heard the words we said)??]
Lady (now shouting and speaking slowly like the man is deaf): NO… HAWAII is made up of several islands.. were YOU on O-AHU… or HON-O-LULU…?
[Honestly, this is where Veteran should have just said.. "Sure lady, Honolulu", end of story.. but instead...]
Vet (speaking loud and slow): I know what you mean. I was on HA-WA-II III-LAND! Hawaii is the name of ONE of the Hawaiian islands.
[Lady looks at him like he's scamming her.. it's quite evident that Lady's Hawaii is only made up of two locations and Veteran is NOT understanding that he needs to select one of them, so then she decides to take a new approach...]
Lady: Yeah, I have a friend who lived on Oahu and she loved it.
Vet: Oh yeah, I’ve been there and it’s nice.
Lady (shouts like she caught him red handed in the cookie jar): OH.. so you LIVED on O-AHU?!
Vet: No, I just visited there.
Lady: ..from Honolulu?
Vet: no, from Hawaii..
[Lady glaring at him in frustration for beating her in their game of mind chess... She continued to sit and silently brute.. neither of them said another word. When we arrived at my stop, I started to to leave and all of the sudden I could hear her say..]
Lady: You see, Hawaii is a chain of islands. Like Oahu, Honolulu.. so.. which island were you on?…..
[... oh geez, thank goodness I was leaving, because I was 2 seconds away from strangling myself with the strap from my messenger bag..]
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06.05.09
Posted in Uncategorized at 9:57 am by admin
After a several month hiatus, I finally rode my waveboard this past Mon and was telling my friend about it. She mentioned that as she gets older, she worries more about falling and getting hurt. Of course, I mentally poo-poo’ed this crazy-talk, because those rules don’t apply to me… that being built low to the ground means that the distance to impact is less and saves me from getting hurt. You can think of it like my own little superhero power.
Anyway, on Wed, I rode my waveboard again in the complex where we live and got stopped by our security guy for not wearing a helmet (which he explained is required if you are under 18yrs of age). Not only did he misjudge my age, but it was obvious that he also failed to read the memo about my superhero power (which would instantly void the age issue anyway).
Now here’s the irony… shortly after this, I had my first major fall, sliding to a stop and ending up on my back in the gutter of the street. As I laid there, I couldn’t help but chuckle and think:
1. OMG, I am SO glad the security guard wasn’t around to say, “See, I told you so! THAT’S why we have the helmet policy!!”
2. I was totally wrong.. being built low to the ground does NOT save you from getting hurt… cause my legs, butt, and wrists were all aching..
3. There is a bright side: I learned to always wear my hair in a pony-tail bun when riding my waveboard, because it felt like a pillow when I landed on the ground and prevented me from knocking my head.
4. Dang it!.. My friend’s fears were completely justified and now she’ll NEVER agree to try my waveboard when she hears about this!!
So, after I got up and dusted myself off, I started to think that maybe I shouldn’t be waveboarding, that maybe I should go inside and rest, and that maybe I should stick to activities where there isn’t a risk of pain or injury… but then as soon as Chyna asked me to go around the block on our waveboards again, all those thoughts flew out the window and the only thought remaining was…. “YES!!”
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03.10.09
Posted in The Family at 12:47 pm by admin
So, my family has become obsessed with the TV show “24″ and Jack Bauer over the past couple years. My father showed me his man-purse, I mean “jack pack” in January, and of course Dan was already obsessed with 24 long before any of us, so between the two of them, I think their Jack Bauer man-crush has made them crazy and I’m starting to wonder which one is the “real” Jack? But what I find even more puzzling is… when did Jack Bauer start brandishing a samarai sword… with his gun? 
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02.24.09
Posted in The Family at 7:32 pm by admin
Someone told my sister that I “have NO EMPATHY.” And that I’m, NOT capable of putting myself in other people’s shoes.. ah yes, with family members like this, who needs enemies, right? haahaa… 
Anyway, I’m sharing this with you all, because I have grrr-eat news!! Dan has been desperately working on this problem and has informed me that researchers have found my missing gene!! Yay!!
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/4581313/Good-Samaritans-are-born-not-raised-new-study-suggests.html
See, it’s not MY fault that I was born empathy deficient. But I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before researchers are able to figure out a way to insert my missing empathy gene. SO.. have no fear “someone”… one day, I too will be able to experience this abstract thing called “empathy” and with great power, comes great responsibility. So, look out America, here’s EM-PATHY to the rescue!! Ah, now if I could only do something about that Sarcasm gene, I’d be set!
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02.20.09
Posted in The Family at 10:05 pm by admin
I went to AZ for the week to help my mother and father. My bosses were the only ones who knew. SO, I returned (2/18) to discover that the students had made bets on my whereabouts. David was convinced that I was in Fiji.. man, I wish!! Instead of a tan and stories of paradise and relaxation, I had bags under my eyes with stories of organizing a church office, moving living room furniture around, helping to lift and deliver recliners and a night stand, catching feral cats and going to the vet (twice), ironing over 150 homemade bags, varnishing an outdoor bench (3 COATS), cleaning a large bird cage, dusting the den, folding laundry, and spending my last relaxing day working at a pregnancy center for 7hrs. Then I woke up the next morning at 5:15AM, flew home to SD, went directly to work, and left at 7PM (8PM Arizona time) to head home… ah yes, par-ah-dise!
At any rate, last Sat. I called Dan in the morning so we were able to wish each other Happy Valentine’s Day and then it was off to doing work at the church for several hours. Then we came home and got ready to head into town to pickup new bedside tables. I opened the door to leave but it was cold, so I turned around to grab my jacket. I could hear my father come in the house behind me. Now, anyone who knows my father knows he has a big mouth and talks all the time.. but suddenly he was silent. I slowly started to turn around, and that’s when I saw… DAN standing there staring at me!! I screamed with happiness! I couldn’t believe he drove to AZ to be with me on Valentine’s Day!! Talk about A-mazing!! He’s THE best boyfriend EVER and I’ll never forget this Valentine surprise!!
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01.30.09
Posted in Lab Related at 11:30 pm by admin
It’s sweet that many of you have taken an interest to Sheldon and wonder how he’s doing. So, rather than sending out multiple emails on this topic, I’ll just provide the update that I gave Shana recently..
I think Sheldon is still in the lab.. though honestly, I’m not quite sure. The last time I saw him was ~2-1/2 wks ago.. Ah yes, I remember the day like it was yesterday… I had just finished sending the entire lab an email about how I didn’t want them coming in if they had the flu or cold, because it was spreading like wildfire throughout the campus.. And yet, the very next day, Typhoid Sheldon (who said he was horribly sick with the flu) stepped into the lab, wearing a SARs mask (as if THAT was reassuring). Since then, I haven’t seen him.. I sent him an email ~1 week later to check on him and he said that the Student Health Center told him to avoid people and stay home until he was better.. I’ll assume that this was due to his physical (rather than mental) condition.
Anywho, I shared some Sheldon stories with my family while I was in AZ. When I finished, my father and bro were convinced that Sheldon’s “weird and probably should be fired before he loses it mentally.” How insensitive is that?!! My mother and sis on the other hand, went into Save-Sheldon mode, saying “Noriko, you HAVE to work with him and figure out ways to teach him the social skills that he lacks.” Yeah right! Who do they think I am anyway… the “Geek-Whisperer”?!! Sheesh!
So anyway, Shana reminded me that people pay a lot to hire the dog whisperer and considering that there are A LOT of geeks, I could charge by the hour and be rich!! So NOW.. my new goal in life is to have my own show where I’m saying, “I rehabilitate geeks, I train the socially awkward, I AM the Geek Whisperer”.. Since it’s geeks though, I’ve modified Cesar Milan’s “Chh chh” sound to “spock spock”.. with the Vulcan fingers to the neck.. I’m currently awaiting a call from the National Geographic Channel to see if they liked the pilot footage I sent them.. stay tuned…
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01.26.09
Posted in The Family at 8:15 pm by admin
Maybe it’s because they’re so much closer in age, but I swear that Bossy and DQ always managed to find a way to push each other’s buttons. For the most part I just sat back, grabbed a bag of popcorn, and enjoyed the show. But there were two moments that amused me the most..
#1 Toilet Paper Tirade:
Bossy used the bathroom after DQ and noticed that the roll was empty. Rather than taking 5 secs to change the roll, he took 5 MINUTES to come out and complain in an attempt to get DQ to take care of it.. DQ denied leaving the roll empty, which then irked Bossy even more, because he knew she was the one who used the bathroom before him.. The next morning I go to use the bathroom and the roll is STILL EMPTY!! So, I changed the roll and then ask Bossy why he didn’t change it. At first he played dumb, until I reminded him of his TP speech the night before.. so then he threw it back in DQ’s court.. so basically we got absolutely no where. Later, DQ admitted that she went to use the bathroom after Bossy’s TP tirade and when she discovered that he intentionally left the roll empty for HER to change, she got pissed off and REFUSED to change it! My gosh, how old ARE we?!
#2 Kentucky Fried Chicken Incident:
Bossy was mad because DQ ordered 4 breasts and 4 wings when he does NOT even like white meat.. DQ claimed that it was a joke.. Bossy claimed it wasn’t.. Well, we got home and discovered that we had 4 thighs and 4 legs (aka: all DARK meat).. So, basically Bossy was right and KFC DID take DQ’s joke seriously.. BUT, fortunately, the workers were all so incompetent that they screwed up our order in the positive direction.. so no harm done right? Well, Bossy was still clearly mad, which was evident by him giving us the silent treatment for the rest of the night and half of the next day. I tell ya, I thought watching children pout is entertaining, but watching a grown man pout is even funnier..
The longer we were in AZ, the more I was starting to think that my mother had the right idea by staying at the hospital for as long as possible!
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01.23.09
Posted in The Family at 8:23 pm by admin
My mother had to have back surgery last week and so my bro, sis, and I flew out to help my father take care of her and my lil’ bro.. It was wonderful to have everyone there to support my parents and help out. But what I found so interesting was.. no matter how old you get, when you go back home with siblings, you end up regressing into the dysfunctional child you were growing up..
The BRO (aka: Bossy): Oldest child, dad’s BFF, the family jokester
-He’s the funny kid who wipes a wet hand on your cheek and tells you it’s pee. He’s the one who wants to draw a Sharpie mustache on your face as you sleep, or act retarded just to make you laugh. During this visit though, he was so bossy and kept ordering us around, instead of “asking”. He never cleaned, but enjoyed “supervising” every chance he got. Plus, he constantly had to prove that he was smarter/wiser by educating us on things like we were 3yrs old.
Ex. We passed a car that was all bashed in on the side and the door was open flapping in the wind.. My sis said, “that looks so funny to see the door open like that”. Bossy’s response was, “well, the door can’t shut because the car was in an accident. The whole side is smashed in.. that’s why it’s open”. It took all my energy not to say, “Umm.. REALLY Captain Obvious?”
The SIS (aka: Drama Queen): 2nd oldest, mom’s BFF, the loving wild child
-DQ’s the fun-party girl, who is always worried about “missing out” and thrives to have and be in the center of everything. She’s always making us laugh and loves to tell stories, etc.. so we have a great time! In true DQ style though, if she has to do something she’s not fond of, she can’t help but whine a little..
Ex. Dusting was a big production: DQ only had to dust the top 2 shelves on each bookcase so that I could finish the remaining 3 lower shelves.. She whined here and there the entire time.. “You know me, I love to help, but the dust is just horrible on my lungs and I don’t know how much more I can take”… then she’d cough and leave to take a break, only to return and whine some more. And I couldn’t help but think.. “you inhale CARCINOGENS (cigarettes) on a daily basis and you’re gagging over DUST in your lungs?!!”
ME (aka: The Annoying One): The monkey in the middle, Leo’s BFF, and the one who is the most impatient/intolerant of all the siblings.
- I hated Bossy telling me what to do.. probably because I hate anyone telling me what to do.. haaha! I laugh, but it’s so true! I hated DQ whining, because in my mind, when you help people but you complain, then you’re turning a selfless act of love into a selfish sacrifice for pity. However, being home with my siblings also made me realize just how intolerant and annoying “I” can be. I constantly found the need to express any frustration I felt towards each of them… but sometimes I’d forget to sugar-coat my opinions (making one understandably defensive), or when to have the good sense to just let it go. I actually had to call Dan at one point, because I was starting to annoy myself!! See, that’s how dysfunctional it was..
Anyway, I think the funniest moment of reflection that I had was realizing that my mentally handicapped brother was acting more mature at times than his 3 older siblings put together… It makes you wonder who’s REALLY the retarded one in our family?
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12.04.08
Posted in The Family at 10:08 pm by admin
Well, this Thanksgiving went more smoothly than last year. For starters, we were allowed to sleep IN the house AND we had plenty of TURKEY and HAM. Here were some of the other highlights…
The Newbies: Chyna, Steve, Mama-Dan, Rowdy (D2’s son), and both Aunts from PA were the new additions to our Thanksgiving posse. BTW, I learned to NEVER accidentally call Aunt Amy, “Aunt RUTHANN”..not pretty… I recommend that you try calling her “Uncle Keith” instead.
The Roomies: D1 and I were once again rooming with Carol and D2, which instantly brought back the snoring memories from last year. So, the good news: No loud snoring this year. The bad news: Snoring was replaced by TOOTING! I have NO idea what those two ate for dinner that first night, but I swear that they could have made a hot air balloon rise with all the heat and gas that was release throughout the night!
Thanksgiving Day: For past Thanksgivings, the seating arrangement has been at two tables (grownups & kiddies), but with 18 people, my folks setup three tables:
Table 1: “The Grown-Ups” - This is where all the cool kids sit! (Uh.. for some reason, they said I wasn’t allowed to sit at this table).
Table 2: “The MLC (mid-life crisis) Rejects”: This table is in eye-site of the happy, laughing cool kids, so that others can always see how much fun they’re having. (Oh and yes, this is the table I was placed at).
Table 3: “The Kiddies”: Man, now I thought the MLC had it bad, but at least we were INSIDE. The Kiddies were out in the backyard in the cold. It was loud and chaotic at times and the motion sensored light kept turning off and on, for a broken strobe effect while they ate dinner.
The Funeral: In addition to funny moments this Thanksgiving, we also had a difficult one. My cousin (in-law) Joel passed away and so we attended the funeral on Sunday (11/30). Joel was only 46 yrs old and in good health, so his death was a complete shock to us all. The funeral was such beautiful, tear-filled Jewish ceremony, steeped with meaningful tradition.
Now, I don’t mean to be disrespectful by bringing up a funny in the middle of a somber event, but I have to share this.. SO, all the guys had to wear a kippah (a *rounded* skullcap) on their heads for the funeral service . Well, I thought everyone looked pretty good… until I saw my dad, whose large melon head was just way too big for a kippah. At one point, I glanced over and nearly fell to the ground laughing, because unlike everyone else (whose kippah cupped the back part of their head), my father had his just above his forehead, pointing straight up in the air like a mini-dunce cap! Man, I wish I had a picture of it though… after all, blackmail photos like that only happen once in a lifetime!!
So, as you can see, this Thanksgiving was filled with plenty of laughs, tears, toots, and new memories..
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11.21.08
Posted in Misc at 7:31 pm by admin
Ah-low-oh-ha, my friends!! I had THE MOST amazing time in Hawaii (Nov 3rd-Nov 11th) and if vacations could have a running theme, ours would have been… “Ah-AWESOME”!!
The weather in Maui was so perfectly tropical and the ocean water was nice and warm! Here’s the breakdown of our vacation:
Wailea Marriott Resort and Spa: Our hotel was so beautiful and ran along the ocean. The first morning there, I walked down to watch the sea turtles in the water. The birds were so friendly though and would come over to hang out with me as I stood there. The view was gorgeous but my favorite amenity was the Serenity pool, which had the appearance of ending in mid air and overlooked the gorgeous ocean.
4 Days of Snorkeling: We snorkeled around Molikini crater and saw the most spectacular (colorful) coral and so many beautiful fish (ie. Yellow tangs, Rectangular Trigger fish, Moorish Idols, etc). Unfortunately, most of our underwater photos were quite blurry. 
We also hit different beaches along the coast, as well as swam with sea turtles in Makena (Turtle Town) and Ka’anapali.
Dan was always calm in the water, but I on the other hand, kept looking over my shoulder, expecting to find JAWS there. I was constantly reassessing which innocent snorkeler I’d have to push to be eaten, if we needed to escape.
Zipline through the forest around Haleakala (volcano): Of course, I thought I would wet myself when I saw our first zipline run and witnessed the lady before me crash into the tree at the end of the other platform below. Earl (our guide) didn’t make things any better by shouting “Wait Wait” (as a funny), just as I stepped off the platform.. SO the first run was basically me screaming as I zipped from one platform to the other.
As a side note: We used the Zipline to play the old “tie the knot” funny on our parents. You know, where you say, “While we were in Hawaii, we decided to “TIE THE KNOT” and then attached the following picture..
Umm.. yeah, NOT so funny if your parent FAILS to OPEN the picture and instead starts crying and calling up everyone to share the good news … EEK! Talk about a funny going horribly wrong..
ANYWHO.. moving on. We hiked up Haleakala.. oh, who am I kidding, this is Dan we’re talking about… we never “hiked”. We *drove* to the top of the volcano and it was like something out of a Sci-Fi movie, very cold and the crater was loaded with small volcanoes inside of it. awesome!
Helicopter ride through the Iao Valley (rainforest) and along the coast: I expected the Zipline to be the scariest thing I did in Hawaii, but this ride was so bumpy at times that my heart skipped a beat here and there.. To make matters worse, our pilot (Al) had been flying since WWII (ok, he wasn’t THAT old, but he was still old). I found myself recalling that saying, “when i die, I wanna go like my grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep, not screaming like the passengers in the car he was driving“..
Anyway, we were reminded of Grandpa, I mean “Al’s” dementia every time he repeated his jokes (apparently forgetting that he told us the same funny just minutes earlier). This was made even worse by the fact that his jokes weren’t funny the first time around. Plus, there were moments when I wasn’t sure if he was “intentionally” flying super close to side of the mountains or if it was because his vision was so impaired that he “thought” he was actually further away. Overall though, the ride provided a truly amazing view and since we were in the front row, we definitely had the best perspective!
The Black Rock Jump: Ok, so here’s the thing.. Dan loves to skydive, he wasn’t phased by Weird Al’s dementia or the bumpy helicopter ride, he never thought JAWS was coming for us in the ocean, he was crazy-fearless on the Zipline (trying new moves, running, etc.)… BUT.. ask the man to jump off Black Rock and he suddenly looks at you like you asked him to base jump without a parachute. After shaking his head “no” several times, he finally used the old, “I’ll do it, if you do it first” line. Oh, it was on!! SO, I summoned up the courage (with the help of an 8yr old boy who was jumping), to climb the rock and jump!
The Road to Hana: We drove, I mean “survived” the road to Hana, which was filled with ONE lane, curving roads and bridges, on the side of the mountains. Plus it’s a rainforest, so one second it’s sunny and the next moment is pouring down rain. Dan was AMAZING though, because he managed to maneuver around every obstacle like he’d driven this road before. He never panicked, despite the constantly changing weather and road conditions.. I don’t know how he did it. Along the way to Hana, we stopped to look at the various waterfalls, vegetation, lookouts, and even swam out to one of the waterfalls..
Hawaiian Luau: We celebrated our last evening in Maui by attending a Luau, filled with fire dancers and hula girls. Dan probably doesn’t remember the fire dancers, but I have no doubt that he’ll ever forget the hula dancers. Ha!
Well, there you have it.. and now you know why I said our vacation was AWESOME!! I’ll be posting another blog about some of our additional Hawaiian discoveries, but until then.. aloha!
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